May Flowers & Spring Cleaning

I sit this morning listening to the birds who, in spring, seem to be having a karaoke party every day in celebration of the end of winter. It's my favorite part of the day with my coffee, and soon, my front porch swing. At the moment though, I stare at a rainbow colored bouquet of tulips I picked up for myself. They've brought me much joy, stillness, and presence this week. The juxtaposition between the noise of the birds, the beauty of these flowers, and the stillness of the morning against my racing morning thoughts makes me wonder why we muck up the rest of our day with stories about our relationships, work, and lives. As we went through April and now into May, a lot of muck - mental and emotional clutter - came up to be looked at and examined. Many people may have first noticed the physical manifestation of our clutter at the beginning of quarantine, and perhaps cleaned out closets and garages, old toys, or the freezer. But our literal physical "stuff" was merely the last stage of the flower: the bloom. See, when flowers grow, there is a TREMENDOUS amount of energy underneath the surface to bring them to full bloom. There's the seeding...the slow harvesting of that seed to break open...roots that need to grow...a stem structure that needs to push upwards...break the surface of the soil... continue to grow upwards... sprout leaves...form buds...start to show signs of petals, and THEN... THEN it blooms. Along the way, this seedling needs help from the soil, water, and sun to get it to its most fantastic stage. It also needs time- lots and lots of time. Never once does a flower stop to wonder if it missed its opportunity because all of its other flower friends sprouted before it did. Never does a flower wonder what it will look like in its fullness or worry that doing so will naturally draw attention to it. No, a flower doesn't let the clutter block its way to where its destined to go. It let's others help them along the inevitable path upward and lets go of the idea it has to be picture perfect or even the way it showed up last year or the year before that. And it knows that its destiny requires time, not a clock. So however long it takes, it takes. And if it doesn't make it, it accepts that some things aren't meant to be and knows nature will take care of the rest. So after we have perhaps cleared the density of our physical stuff, we have been otherwise forced to look at the tremendous amount of energy (mentally and emotionally) that went into creating our current circumstances. That can be a tough pill to swallow because beyond the emotional intensity of knowing there are things we no longer want in our lives, we also know that ultimately we are individually responsible for the choices we have made. And when that happens, we can no longer blame others. And then, after a time, we have to also accept that blaming ourselves for doing the best we could, with what we knew at the time of our decisions, is too just as toxic as blaming the world around us. How appropriate then that May is also Mental Health Awareness Month. Not only does spring offer a time to clean our physical environment but also to tend to the emotional clutter too. If you're feeling overworked or overwhelmed it's a good time to look at it. If you're struggling to pay bills as so many people are right now, maybe it's time to examine your relationship to money. What energy to you hold around it? What stories do you make about it? Where did those stories originate? ... What are you holding onto that no longer serves you but you're afraid to admit to yourself? What do you need to let go of? Whatever you're spring cleaning this season, just remember that at the end of it is you creating more space to be more authentically you. And that, friend, is as beautiful as these tulips. Much love.