Re-Emergence of Self

Part of the hold up in sending this out for October was because the energies were VERY INTENSE the last 6-8 weeks and I felt every last bit of it. I needed some time to process.  We can see by now all the ways the world is going through massive transformation: energetically, socially, politically, racially, structurally, and emotionally.  It's massive in ALL the ways... and therefore massive in all the feels.     It's easy to see our circumstances - both on the macro- and microcosm scale - as purely external to ourselves, reacting to what we see in front of us. But, as we have discussed before, our external reality actually starts from our relationship to self and then that perception is projected onto the external world we experience.  It's called cognitive distortion and it's based upon repetitive subconscious patterns that developed through past emotional experiences. And then the brain, being the needs and safety computer it is, looks for those patterns everywhere we go.   For many people their internal reality has not just been chaotic but down right frightening.  People feeling un-grounded and scared were reaching out for me the last couple of months to help them navigate some pretty murky emotional spaces... spaces that were requiring them to face outdated wounding that is no longer serving them but that in one way or another are still holding onto them as a belief... as part of their identity.  On perhaps a simplified level, what they/we are going through is a transformation through grief: the loss of one version of self for another, more aligned version of self.   We might see this played out globally or nationally but in reality each of us are doing this on a very personal level, together.  And because we are social animals with many empathic gifts, doing this separately but together with ALL THE THINGS makes this experience fucking intense.   We are shifting out of these outdated wounds and energies through our bodies and this needs space to breath. There are parts of ourselves that need our awareness; parts that we no longer have space for in order get to where we want to be; and parts of ourselves we need to say goodbye to in order to get there. We are grieving, friends.  Grief requires us to abandon conditioning and identify more with the  authentic self/spirit. With that comes the realization of all the ways in which we violated ourselves for that conditioning and forgotten our personal truths.  As people come into this knowingness, they not only come to meet the existence of the higher self/soul (or fill in a word that makes you comfortable) but also begin to inhabit their bodies more. There is a felt sense that grows in sensitivity to both the physical and nonphysical energies within and around us. People are becoming more aware of their aliveness, and everything that comes with that, more than ever before. I get it. It's A LOT. I remember my own process several years ago now, and I thank my lucky stars mine was a slower moving train wreck than what most people are coming to know in less than a year.  It's difficult at first to wake up to energetic sensitivity.  There's purging as you realize the extent of your own repressions; there's overwhelm in realizing how truly powerful you are in creating your reality; and there's grief in realizing all the ways you've chosen against yourself both actively and passively.   And in the admittance of that, is where we work to see the beauty in grief.  Grief is your higher self/soul beginning to wake up and accept it's rightful place. It's human you meeting that non-physical, unexplainable you, apologizing to it, and accepting its sensitive nature. Why apologize to it?  Well our natural sensitivities don't always fit in the constructs of our society... at least not at first.  We abandon it because our bodies experience those sensitive bits as being too hard to be there for too long. So we separate the mind from the body and the body from the soul. We literally ask our most authentic part of us to leave in order protect it from experiencing the harshness of the world. So each of us wakes up to this to make the course correction.  And when you do, you let yourself be in the grief, the awkward re-introductions between the higher you and the physical you... Let your self be where ever you are. Grieve and keep going. Be in the void of not knowing who you're looking at and keep going. Grieve again and keep going.  Because where you are going.... where we are going... is total awareness of your wholeness, as you are, as you were born into being... as innocence, as LOVE. Move gently and be well my friends.  And if you find that you're in patterns you can't seem to break free, I'm here to help.