3 Tips to Starting New

"The best way to get something done is to begin," says the cover of my current journal.

I bought it as a way to set the intention to take steps toward the things that spark my curiosity, and I find myself re-reading this phrase today, reflecting on new beginnings and what it means to start over...

It can be overwhelming, to "just begin" when life has other ideas and we're confused or in pain. It's made worse by how little people share of their journeys except for the occasional comeback story of some famous person. Suddenly they were rich and beautiful and we're somehow still searching for change in couch cushions to get a haircut at Best Cuts (not that anything is wrong with that).

Then it gets strange. People dole out suggestions for how you should begin. It's probably well intentioned but runs the risk of either being a misplaced projection or completely superfluous to your situation. Excuse me, but spouting self-improvement advice - like allow yourself to daydream* - to me, is a little ridiculous (and a little dismissive) when you're struggling to pay bills or roll out of bed in the morning.

*note: this doesn't mean daydreaming isn't good for you.*

So how do we begin to start a project, improve our health, our finances, or our relationships when we're in a real or perceived quagmire?

Well, sorry for the truth bomb but there isn't just one answer. There are many ways people change their circumstances. Some may not know how to begin moving forward but plow through life anyway by focusing on work, for example, hoping they will stumble upon lasting happiness. Others may throw their hands up in the air, say, "@#!$ it!" and move to somewhere new, wishing to forget the past. And yet there are people who, to an outside observer, freeze in place.

The fact is our lives and, therefore, new beginnings aren't uniform or linear. We all have different ways to deal with difficult life moments and different timelines to start again. Old doors close and new ones open, and we maintain freewill to decide which ones to step through. We may be consciously ready to let go and take the next step; we may not. We may want to but aren't emotionally ready. Are we even mindful enough to recognize if were ready? And how do we give ourselves the space to figure it all out when everyone around us has an opinion?

*phew! cue exhaustion*

At the risk of being a total hypocrite I do have a few... uh... suggestions when you're finding it difficult to begin... whatever it is you think you need to begin or start over. I think it's sound and universal, but again, it's important to listen to your own guidance to know for sure.

STEP 1: KEEP THE FAITH

Let me first say that no matter what.... NO MATTER WHAT... you have to keep a deep and unwavering faith.

I'm not talking about the spiritual stuff (but FYI, if the spiritual thing keeps and motivates you, more power to you.) I am talking about faith in yourself to get through whatever it is you may be facing. Too, you need faith in the idea that life is a series of changes and by shear statistics, things really do get better. They have to. They don't have a choice.

Faith in yourself is important because it is the one and only thing that cannot be touched by circumstances or other people. You don't have to talk about it to anyone. And it doesn't have to be some sort of motto written on t-shirts for others to buy into it either. When you have bad days (and you will) and your family and friends don't know how to help (but think they do anyway)... you will be able to relax in the knowing that that day will pass and that you are capable of moving on.

STEP 2: GET QUIET

There's a lot of noise out there. Television, social media, our family and friends. Everyone and everything wants your attention. And everyone can share well intentioned advice on how to start over.

But what about your inner teacher? Aren't you the one who knows yourself best? And if you don't, don't you want to?

It's so easy to get distracted or to fall into the trap of blindly listening to others when we're attempting to transition into a new phase in life. Most likely, our internal chit-chat during a difficult time is impeding our self-judgement. Trusting others over ourselves is therefore natural. However, until we get quiet... and I mean really quiet... we cannot test this kind advice against our own truth.

Make time for lots of quiet. Shut off your TV, computer, and phone. Go outside. Play with your pet. Go for long walks. Be alone.

Seriously. BE ALONE.

STEP 3: ROSEBUD

So here comes the self-help method. If you want to tweak it or use something else that better resonates with you, great. The point here is to pick something that both reminds you how wonderful you really are and also keeps you focused towards the future. Personally, I think the rosebud method is simple and straightforward.

Imagine your life is represented by the pieces of a rose. The fully bloomed rose stands for something you feel you've accomplished this past year. The thorns are things that were challenges. And the rosebuds are wishes or goals you have for the upcoming year.

Start by listing each category via stream-of-conciousness. No editing allowed. Write down everything you felt was a win for you last year, everything that was viewed as an obstacle, and everything you want to happen (goals, wishes, dreams, etc.) in the coming year.

Pick the top 3 of each. Three of each follows the KISS principle (keep it simple stupid) and avoids becoming too overwhelming.

And then take time to smell the roses. Appreciate your wins. Objectively consider the thorns (Perhaps you learned lessons from them that you can apply to this year.). And finally, look at your buds to get you moving forward.

So...

Keep the faith. Get Quiet. Smell the roses. You'll begin in no time.

#wonky #wellness #begin #startover #yoga #newyear #beginnings